Dating Preferences Are...Racist?🤯

Is it racist to prefer dating a certain group or to count some people out all together?

Are dating preferences racist? A now infamous 2014 OKCupid study shows that Black women & Asian men face the highest amount of dating discrimination when it comes to their platform. This study has been referenced to death by red pillers and feminists alike. I’m sorry for referencing it 😭🙃

I have and have always had issues with this study. First, it’s too damn old. This “research” was done nearly a decade ago. We can all agree a major cultural shift has happened since. Next, I’m not sure if any other variables are controlled for. Black women on average are the largest group of women by BMI in America. This is not a matter of judgement but just a matter of fact. “Thickness” is not appreciated in mainstream Western culture as it is within certain ethnic diasporic groups. Therefore, this discrimination could be done on a matter of weight rather than race. Beyond race, there are plenty of other variables that if controlled for the research may have dramatically different findings.

With that said, I am not denying that race makes a huge impact on people’s dating lives. As a Black woman, I’m all too familiar with the occasional troll sending DM with racial epithets on a dating app. However in much of the data I’ve read the numbers still show that Black women still got far more messages than even the most popular White men on the dating app. Go figure.

Beyond that I guess I need to answer the question — are dating preferences racist?

Yes, of course. All sexual preferences are indeed discriminatory. Whether you prefer someone tall, thin, thic, you are making a decision to discriminate against those who do not possess this quality.

I am not ignorant about colorism and issues facing dark skin women. It’s messed up. If someone sees you worthy of sex but not worthy of having a relationship, that’s messed up. I’d like to empower Black women and other women who may be reading this to know their beauty—you are beautiful.

Should we care about racist dating preferences? Absolutely not. *George Carlin voice* Fuck ‘em! You’re not going to beg someone into finding you fuckable and you should not even try. It’s pathetic and quite frankly I’m tired of Black women writing think pieces about this. If someone isn’t attracted to me, or worse, has racist stereotypes about Black women that is averting them—I’d like not to have sex with them.