I want to be a public intellectual, zinester, screenwriter, documentarian, researcher, visual artist, dominatrix, pop star, florist, pastel pornographer…As I inch towards thirty I’m ashamed that I have a bevy of half-finished projects toward a few of these goals. I’m a half-assed jack of all trades, not a master of any.
This year has been a major shift in my life. I always saw getting a “straight” job as admitting to failure. Most creatives think like this. Hence all the middle-aged couch-surfing rockstars. My grandpa was the same way–he was a drummer(of course) who refused to work full-time and played in jazz bands for his entire life. I admired his dedication to creative pursuit but I know he could have lived longer if he had put his finances, health or general well-being before music.
I went to Los Angeles for a friend’s music video shoot this summer. Like me, she had been into art and music for a long time yet actually made a career. Her friend group consisted of creatives who earned their livings from their passions.
Last year I had a taste of that–after only a month of Onlyfans and my webcam business I made roughly the same income I do now as a young professional in San Francisco.
My dream is to live artistically. Yet I need some direction. I need to hire an assistant to help me organize…everything. The money I made was comfortable but didn’t warrant hiring an assistant.
Maybe in the future, it will be possible?
I'd totally support a zine by you. I contribute to a zine by the title of Reptile House [comix zine] but it would be cool to have your art or writing in a physical form.
I get the half-finished trail of things. I'm super grateful to have finally found something I think is worth building, and more importantly, people to build it with. It's still a passion project for us for now, but...who knows what it could eventually lead to? A lot of people I know who do this sort of thing full time and succeed made the leap by building passion things so awesome people couldn't help but take notice.